piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
