these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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