Is it because I queefed?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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