He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
