So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize