is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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