Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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