like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
