I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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