When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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