just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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