Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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