You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
