somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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