I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
