update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
