i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
