You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
