I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
