so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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