her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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