her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
