Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
