Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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