Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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