Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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