she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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