You work out of a Hotel?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
