Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
