Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
