Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
