had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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