The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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