BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
