its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
