im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
