I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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