I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize