we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
