i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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