Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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