Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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