He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize