Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
