You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
