Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
