We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
