is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
