apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize