I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
