and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
