Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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