Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
