if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Randomize
