I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
