Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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