well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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