Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
