scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
