i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
and i looked up. we had an audience...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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