my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
