the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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